“Here’s the thing about my first toxic boss, she made her boss look good. She did ⅔ of his job at the cost of our team. We had those weekly meetings during which nearly all 20 of us were crying. We were not permanent, we were on contracts, so you know, you feel like you have nothing and when you feel scared, your executive functions go out the window. You look to each other for support, and everybody is scared and feel like they are on a boat and the boat is sinking.

I look back now and see how normalized it was. People around me would say that either I was exaggerating or shrugging me off by asking “ok, so why don’t you just change jobs?”. My friends were there, my whole life was there, my support system was there, the money was very good, and it was just easier to stay.

I was in this culture for years and kept feeling that I could make it better if only I managed to move to another department. After a while I did get the position I wanted and that's when things got even worse.

There was a bully on our team. Just like my previous boss, he made his boss look good by doing most of the job for him while bullying half of our team. He was the only man. Short-tempered, no respect for women. None of us wanted to stay alone in the office with him. We always checked with each other when the last one was leaving. I was dealing with my own bullying from him, and I watched him take down other women.

I saw them speak up, and I spoke up and nothing happened! There was no system in place to voice our grievance. And that was in 2018 at a governmental institution, so imagine if that was happening then, how many years has this been going on for? I am probably one of hundreds who tried to report abuse and was ignored. But they keep you separate and make you think you are the only one.

I went three levels up to seek help and no one was doing anything. So I started thinking: “I must be doing something wrong. Am I the only one who is seeing this? What can I do? Where can I go?”.

By that time, I had cognitive issues, I was losing my memory, I was irritable and my family was noticing me change. I didn’t have my usual passion for life as all these things were sucking the soul out of me. The bully was caught red-handed by complete coincidence as he became physically violent and only then the bosses felt inclined to act. Now that it was a legal issue.

What type of consequences did he face? They gave him a month off to “decompress” and implemented emergency team sessions with a psychologist to help him stay on the team with us despite our multiple complaints about his behavior.

In the end, they moved him to another department, where nobody knew his history. Was there an investigation into claims of psychological violence and bullying? No. He is happily building his career, gearing up for promotion, most likely still bullying people.
When he was leaving, the boss who benefitted from the bully’s way of working praised him for all his hard work in front of all of those who not only suffered but also complained to them about the abuse. I joined the Union after that but in the end, I never felt safe to speak up again.

I cannot believe I dedicated 25 years of my career to a place which was so ready to show me that they didn’t care about my mental health.”